Showing Skin Continued…

Rhett
12-31-1969 07:00 pm

I just want to acknowledge that there were and are many angles that I could have gone yesterday in my post Showing Skin at Church.

I knew this going into the post, writing the post, and at the conclusion. And it was even more evident when I received lots of feedback from a lot of you, most of it not in the comment section, but via email, Facebook chat, etc. All good thoughts.

I could have addressed the issue of men more, and the responsibility they have in this issue.

I could have gone deeper on the issue of why modesty is important.

I could have talked about the disposition of our hearts, and how that can be a guide to what modesty looks like in our lives.

I could have tried to offer guidelines. That gets messy quickly.

I could have talked about the nuances of dress, and how what might be modest in some cultures, is or isn’t in others.

So you see…lots of angles, lots of positions…lots of places to go.

And though none of my commenters or friends talked to me about this, I do want to be clear about something: This is not just an issue that we are to put on women, or blame them. That would be like Adam blaming Eve for eating the apple, taking no responsibility for himself. There is a vicious cycle at work here, and I think we all contribute to it to some degree. So the best thing we can do is to come together as communities and be open and honest about it, and the struggles that proceed. And we can be of encouragement to each other.

My friend Wess has a great post where he delves deeper into the heart of the issue: On Immodesty: Too Much Skin (At Church and Elsewhere)?

Also, I’m sure Anne Jackson could have taken her post in many different directions as well, but was speaking out of her heart based on certain circumstances, etc. She continues to raise great questions in her writings.

When we think of the issue of modesty, or showing skin, in church or elsewhere….What are some angles or points of discussion that you would like to see raised?

As a woman, do you feel like the Church blames you, or puts the focus on you most of the time for this issue?

Or what questions do you have in your mind that you would like to see answered or at least wrestled with? One friend was asking me if there are appropriate times, places and contexts for women to dress sexy? So you see, there are a million rabbit trails we can go down, and I’m no expert. So let me hear from all of you.

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Showing Skin at Church

Rhett
12-31-1969 07:00 pm

I don’t know if this is an issue (too much skin) at your church, but it definitely is one at ours. I can’t tell you how many conversations there have been about this topic. Doesn’t matter how many times our pastor has talked about dress and modesty, it only seems to get worse.

And I don’t want to pick on women here, it’s just that men don’t usually show skin because women aren’t usually visually stimulated the same way men are.

But it’s definitely an issue and I’ve become more and more shocked by what young women are wearing, not only in church, but when I step out the door and head into public. I’ve thought on this issue before, but now that I have a baby daughter I’m thinking more about the issue of modesty and what my wife and I want to teach her as she grows up.

No matter what we as parents do I know there will always be that cultural peer pressure on my daughter to do something different. But in the midst of that pressure I hope that we can convey the message of the importance of modesty, and that showing skin is not what she should value or want approval from others for. Doesn’t get easier for parents when teen stars provide much of the cultural peer pressure (i.e. Hannah Montana).

And I know this is a difficult issue for men. A little skin on a woman can send a man’s thought process hurling into outer space and in a direction farthest from purity. So on the one hand a man might get excited and tempted by it, but it’s also the same thing that can destroy him or make him make decisions that he would otherwise not make. That’s power.

It’s a vicious cycle. Women are admired in our culture for their sexuality, but we as Christians are also trying to send a different message that doesn’t usually succeed.

I don’t know where we head on this issue in Church. But maybe it needs to be an open conversation between men and women where we can encourage each other to strive for lives of more modesty, rather than just blaming each other.

How powerful is “skin.” So powerful that I decided a couple of weeks ago that I needed to sign up for online accountability with Covenant Eyes. What does that mean? It means for $7 a month all of my online behavior is monitored and flagged where necessary. And then each week my wife, my brother, and two of my best friends get a report of what I was looking at during my online time during the week. I spend a lot of time on the internet, and I’m smart enough to know the power of sexuality, skin, porn and more online. It doesn’t matter that I’m a father, husband, friend or pastor. We are all susceptible to its temptations. I’ve heard people complain about paying for online monitoring, but come on…are you kidding me? This type of accountability is worth what it would cost two lattes at Starbucks.

I want to leave you with this latest post from Anne Jackson, my thoughts on boobies. Definitely a catching and controversial title. Anne is a pastor at LifeChurch.tv, and is the author of the book Mad Church Disease: The Church-Wide Burnout Epidemic. Check out her post at Relevant Magazine, Dirty Girls, The New Porn Addicts, as she talks about her struggle with pornography and the effects of it on her relationship.

Here is her entire post:

my thoughts on boobies
Written by Anne Jackson on May 7, 2008 – 12:32 pm

did you know?

–there is a female feature we call breasts. they can also be referred to as “boobies,” or “the twins,” or “the rack,” or “jugs,” so on, so forth.

–most men find this particular feature interesting. tempting. and amazing.

–upon catching a glimpse of said feature (regardless of how much is actually exposed), it is likely for a man’s mind to go to places it shouldn’t.

–with above knowledge, women, you now are educated and have no excuse.

–PLEASE USE WISDOM WHEN YOU DRESS YOURSELF.

aside: call me a prude. call me whatever. i don’t really care. and as much as this may seem like “casting judgment” (said in a very, scary, echo-y loud voice) on members of the female gender, please get a freaking clue.

i was doing some bloggy-clicking-around during my lunch and it amazes me how many “nice christian girls” (some who are even in church leadership - gasp!) show quite a bit of skin. in the office, at church parties, whatever (oh, and then post them ALL OVER THE INTERNET!)

please forgive me if it seems i have something stuck, as they say, where the sun don’t shine.

I DO.

it’s called modesty.

and if you are supposed to be living examples of godly women…you should too!

that is all.

sermon over.

please, carry on.

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Emerging Church: 5 Books–Reviews, Thoughts, Critiques…

Rhett
12-31-1969 07:00 pm

Thanks to Andrew Jones for linking this post, Dr Reg Codrington on the Emerging Church, at his blog.

The great thing about the internet is the ability to hear voices from all over the world which is a must needed remedy for us to step outside our American lens theologically.

The Emerging Church is always a hot topic so I appreciate Dr. Reg Codrington’s synthesis of some various books and critiques out there on the topic.

Thoughts on the Emerging Church, by Dr Reg Codrington

Here’s a sample:

I have spent the past several months reading various works by writers from the Emerging Church Movement. These have included Brian McLaren’s “A Generous Orthodoxy”, Leonard Sweet’s “Carpe Manana” (which I am re-reading for the 2nd time), McLaren’s “The last word and the word after that”, Reggie McNeal’s, “The Present Future”, and Shane Claiborne’s mind-blowing book, “The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an ordinary radical”. I have also surfed the Web and been the recipient of several “blogs” and related emails on the subject.

With certain reservations, I enjoyed “A Generous Orthodoxy”, since I believe it raised some important issues about failures in the contemporary evangelical church, even though McLaren tended to slide over a number of issues I could have wished he had dealt with in more detail. He also introduced what I see as side-issues which diminished the effect of his bigger questions.

“Carpe Manana” needs a second read, but I found it fascinating, with Sweet putting his finger on problem areas in the modern church with unerring skill. He was forthright, yet gracious, and I found the entire book challenging and helpful.

McLaren’s “The last word” was troubling and unsatisfying. He left me with the impression that he was tackling an area which has many unanswered questions for the Bible-believing Christian (hell and eternal punishment) only to leave us with a different set of unanswered questions and a stance on penal substitution and universalism which I personally find unacceptable and unbiblical.

McNeal’s “The Present Future”, by contrast, put a finger on crucial issues which the church needs to confront, without introducing the kind of red herrings which McLaren did.

My favourite book of the decade was Claiborne’s challenging “Irresistible Revolution”, which put in writing a summary of all that has been occupying my mind and study time over the past few years. This is a must read!

It was against the background of all these books that I read Don Carson’s book, “Becoming conversant with the Emerging Church”. Having read with appreciation some of his other writings, I expected this scholar to approach the subject in a balanced and unbiased way. I was deeply disappointed!

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What does it mean to be a pastor?

Rhett
12-31-1969 07:00 pm

My co-worker RO Smith posted some great stuff on our blog Collection of Crumbs last night.

We Are All Pastors

Here is some of what he says:

Without getting into detail, there have been some issues at our church. I know all churches have issues, so that is nothing new. But the issues occurring at our church have got me thinking about what we value in being ministered to by others, in particular those with the title of “pastor”. It seems that there has been a disconnect in the pastors and the rest of the staff when it comes to being ministered to. Now, please know that I am not letting the pastors off the hook, or saying anything about their leadership style; I am going for something deeper…

I guess what the entire situation has got me thinking about is this: Why do we put so much onus and credence in what the person with the title of “pastor” does or doesn’t do? And how do we get people to see that we are all “pastors”?

It seems that all of us in church ministry want to be ministered to and be acknowledged by our pastors. In looking at these passages, I can not help but ask the question: Why? Why does it matter what those with the title of pastor think? What does it matter if they do not minister to us? What does it matter if they barely even know who we are? (Speaking from a mega-church perspective) More importantly, is it fair to them to have the these expectations placed on them?

Thoughts?

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Flock: A Browser on Steroids

Rhett
12-31-1969 07:00 pm

Everytime I think I am advanced with the Web 2.0/New Media stuff, I realize I’m not. I usually realize it after reading one of Andrew Jones‘ posts.

Take yesterday’s post for example.

His spring cleaning led to my anxiety. But don’t worry Andrew, it was good anxiety.

Because out of that came the social web browser Flock.

I never thought I would stop using Firefox as my default browser until I came across Flock on Andrew’s post.

I downloaded it and was instantly hooked. It was like browsing on steroids, and once I had my feeds from Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, blog, etc. all streaming at once, my head almost exploded. Wow!

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Pending Reviews: Soon to Come

Rhett
12-31-1969 07:00 pm

I am really behind in some reviews, but here is what is on deck:

Sex, Sushi, & Salvation: Thoughts on Intimacy, Community, & Eternity by Christian George.

• I am almost done with this book and will have a review shortly.  But so far, I really like what I see.  George has a very “Donald Milleresque” style of writing about him.  Which I love.  When I first got the book I chuckled at the title because sex and sushi are really popular in Los Angeles.  That is what sells in this town.  Not so much salvation, though I think that’s what many are unknowingly looking for.  Good combination of words that speak to so many people’s needs, desires and wants.  As I said, I will post that review shortly.

The Vision Deck: 52 Exercises to Inspire Visionary Teams by auxano.

• This is taking me a little while to review, since I’m trying to take all 52 cards in, and actually use them, rather than just read through them.  So I will have a full review soon.  But what lies at heart in this deck is what I’m passionate about (i.e. team building, collaboration, vision casting, ministry, etc.)

Sexless in the City: A Memoir of Reluctant Chastity by Anna Broadway.

• Very popular blogger’s blog writings become a book.  I have known her for about 15 years or so, so I’m excited to see her writing published.  This is a fascinating topic for many people, and Broadway is a great writer.  A review will follow soon.

A Leader Becomes A Leader: Inspirational Stories of Leadership For A New Generation by J. Kevin Sheehan.

• This book just came in the mail today and I’m very excited about.  Very good looking book.  Great photography, stories, anedotes, thoughts, etc., from some of the greatest leaders in a number of distinct fields.  I think the influence of these multiple voices on various topics of leadership should be a great read.

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Collaborative Resources

Rhett
12-31-1969 07:00 pm

I think most of you know by now, I have become a huge fan of the New Media and Web 2.0. But there is one aspect of it that I am most excited about: collaboration. With immediate access to amazing and simple tools we are able to collaborate more rapidly and effectively with one another than before. Collaboration is not only taking place amongst friends and co-workers in the same office, but is happening on larger scales both locally and globally.

To get some perspective on this aspect of the New Media and Web 2.0 there are a few books that I have been reading, and that I highly recommend. They are all varied to some degree, but they are saying essentially the same thing: people are now able to collaborate on a mass scale like never before.

Check Them Out

The Starfish and the Spider: The Unstoppable Power of Leaderless Organizations by Ori Brafman and Rod A. Beckstrom.

• Amazing book on the power of mass collaboration, and how it is creating and sustaining organizations that are leaderless. They give good examples of leaderless organizations, as well as looking at hybrid organizations that have some structure in place, but are pretty much led by the leaderless communities that support them.

Here Comes Everybody: The Power of Organizing Without Organizations by Clay Shirky.

• This book I’m still working on. But I’m particularly intrigued by his chapter “Publish, Then Filter.” In an instant world with mediums such as blogging, people publish first then go back to filter and edit, but through the help of the community. In the collaborative conversation, the community does the filtering, editing, and correcting. This is so upside down from the old media which only publishes after tons of edits, corrections, etc., if it publishes at all. Many are uncomfortable with this new mentality, but in the new media, what were once perceived as big mistakes are no longer big mistakes, but are easily dialogued about…and if needed, forgiven by the public (some of this is my own commentary).

Wikinomics: How Mass Collaboration Changes Everything by Dan Tapscott and Anthony D. Williams.

• Great book. Very in depth. This really gets technical about mass collaboration and explores many aspects from economics to science, and how mass collaboration is revolutionizing these fields and others.

Facebook for Pastors: How To Build Relationships And Connect With People Using The Most Popular Social Network On The Internet by Chris Forbes

• I love Facebook, I am a pastor, and I love ministry. So this book is a must read. Very quick and free. How can you beat that. My chapter in The New Media Frontier: Blogging, Vlogging, and Podcasting for Christ is “Navigating the Evolving World of Youth Ministry in the Facebook-MySpace Generation.” I didn’t really touch on collaboration which was sort of new to me when I wrote it. Now if I could go back, I would talk on this more.

Getting Real: The smarter, faster, easier way to build a successful web application by 37 Signals.

• Awesome, awesome book. Really a manifesto. Short and is free online. This really changed my views about the necessity for simplicity and less is more attitude in the onslaught of new media and design. They are some real nuggets in there.

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Shepherding vs. Ranching: Part 2

Rhett
12-31-1969 07:00 pm

Shepherding vs. Ranching: Part 1

In the last post I looked at these two definitions:

Dictionary Definitions:

Shepherding: To herd, guard, tend, or guide as or in the manner of a shepherd.

Ranching: To manage or work on a ranch.

I like the words used in shepherding: herd, guard, tend and guide. Where as a rancher manages or works.

So when I’m asked the question, “Are you a rancher or a shepherd?”, the implication for me is whether or not I want to manage people, or guide them. Managing people is indicative of larger groups, more of a hands off model of leadership and overseeing. Where as guiding and tending reminds me of a very personal hands on experience of walking through life and mentoring people. Because of this, ranchers oversee larger spaces of land and people, and shepherds tend to smaller areas and less people.

This is what I believe is underneath the questions, and the observations of the two metaphors.

A few more questions:

1. When you think of the tasks of being a pastor, which metaphor is best?
2. Which metaphor do you prefer in your church leadership?
3. Can a pastor be both a shepherd and rancher?  Or are they exclusive of one another?  Why or why not?

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8 Ingredients In Storytelling

Rhett
12-31-1969 07:00 pm

Drew Sams has written a great post at Collection of Crumbs.

The Power of Story in Youth Ministry (2 of 5)

Drew talks about the following 8 ingredients:

Ingredient #1 - Point of View
Ingredient #2 - Setting
Ingredient #3 - Characters
Ingredient #4 - Protagonists
Ingredient #5 - Antagonists
Ingredient #6 - Conflict
Ingredient #7 - Climax (Turning Point)
Ingredient #8 - Denoument (Resolution)

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Twitter=Get Out of Jail

Rhett
12-31-1969 07:00 pm

Student ‘Twitters’ way out of Egyptian jail.
HT: Billy Linnehan

MacGyver could have found ‘Twitter’ helpful on a few occassions probably.

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